I had a friend post on her blog earlier this week, you can find it here: Something Square. It hit a nerve with me. It was not a bad thing, but it called to attention a subject that I think about often enough but have failed to post about.
She called to question the reasons and ways we communicate with someone we have a relationship. Do we just contact people just so we can download information about ourselves or do we contact a person because we are genuinely concerned and care for that person? Do we do things for others because they may be able to return the favor or do we do things for others without the expectation of something in return? Are we will to stand up for someone we call a friend and defend them when people speak ill of them? How often do you return acts of kindness to those who do them to you?
I love texting random people of my contact list. Every once in a while I chose a random letter category in my phone and send a text to a person for that list. It usually goes along the lines of: “Hi, I was thing of you. I hope you are doing well.” It does not commit some to answering, but it conveys the the point that they are important. Many time I think: “Hmmm… I wondering how this person is doing. I should let them know that I am think about them.” I do not do it because I am desperate for attention, but it is meant as an encouragement for that person to let them know that there is someone that cares for them.
Giving of my time is not one of those things I have a major qualm about. However, when you ask the question of the motivation of what I am doing- there in lies the major question. More often or not, I ask my question, “What do I get out of helping with this?” It in not necessarily a deciding factor, but there are time I have no inclination to lift a finger to help someone. Maybe I a selfish in that matter or I am too daft to see that that person needs help. But I think that helping someone is a nature reaction opposed to gather favors or recognition.
I am more than willing to go to bat for someone is being bashed on- it is more easily said then do, but I feel that if I consider that person of topic a friend, I must be willing to go to bat for that person, defend them and give them the benefit of the doubt until that person proves other wise.
I desire to make have myself to return favors for others. On the flip side I have a hard time asking others for favors. I do not like feeling indebted to someone else. I would prefer to have someone to owe me a favor, other than vise versa.
I am I weird on how I approach relationships? I would say yes, yes I am. I am able to not see someone for months at a time and then sit down with them and ask them about things in their life. I have a knack about remember random events and obligations- which is useful when in a conversation. I don’t mind picking up where we left off. I enjoy hearing about what is going on in a friend’s life.
I believe it important to care about the conversations you are engaged in. If you are not fully engaged and caring about the conversation, you are waste time, yours and theirs. People can see when you are not engaged and it sucks to talk to someone who does not care. Conversation need to be intentional and that includes caring about the conversation and that person. Creating conversation, just for the sake of talking is pointless, in my opinion (I am an introvert; therefore, human interaction has to be intentional.)
I would like to thank Elaine for posting some questions for me to chew on. I hope this make you think the way you go about your interactions. You can follow her here: SomethingSquare