My lack of weekly routine has caught up with me.
I am getting perpetually tired, losing my train of thought, withdrawing in on myself. Things that I have seen in the past have not ended well and it would be in my best interest to nip this situation in the but.
It is going to require me to change the way I approach my week. I do not remember being so tired last semester with same amount of units. This semester, my week has been skewed because of a class requiring me to turn assignment in on Fridays, a day I do not have class. The last two semester, I have not taken a class or done schoolwork on a Friday- It was my designated Sabbath, a day of no work (for me right now, school is my job and schoolwork is my profession.)
I took a test on Tuesday, my first midterm. Long story short, my mind complete shut down. I could not recall terms and information I knew well. I was devoid of the normal anxiousness I am accustom to. My mind blanked so hard that I left some spots empty- something I have never done on a test before… and I have taken many tests- I have been in school for a long time. It was frustrating, perplexing and scary
Something is not right.
No amount of coffee can fix. I need sleep, but more so, I need rest. I have not made a habit of rest as of recently. And it is catching up with me.
How can I rectify this?
This week I made an effort to reestablish my sleep schedule, in bed by 11:30 and up at about 7:30- I work well with 7.5-8 hours of sleep. In addition, I limited my caffeine intake to pre-noon. Little things add up.
More over, I started my weekly project earlier in the week. I started Wednesday, when I only have one class and pushed to get the majority don. Then the following day after class I put another couple hours on the project. Lastly, I was only left with an hour of work on Friday instead of the normal 6 hours of work I would leave for Friday. I was able to enjoy my day Friday without the project looming over my head, tarnishing my mood. One way to deal with the stress and help establish my weekly flow.
I am hoping next week I will get this down better and actually have a day off from coursework…
Habits, most go unnoticed until you look you look for them. Then all the weird things you do that probably drive your friends crazy are now driving you crazy. I was assigned to look for habits in my own life for one of my class, so I spent a few days taking note of things I do. The weirdest habit I found concerns my pockets.
I find myself patting my pockets: right front, left front, right rear. I check for my wallet, phone and keys, and knife. It is not a grandiose gesture, but I found myself doing multiple times through out the day.
The other day, I forgot to do it as I left the house and it was not until I got to school that I performed the pocket check- I had a slight heart attack when I found my rear pocket empty. It was a slight fear that I had dropped my knife. Not in fear that is was not there to defend myself (I maintain knives are tools, and I carry with such mentality); my fear was that someone that ought not to have a knife got their hands of mine and I could be accused of negligence. (Maybe this habit is just a reflection of my worrying tendency…)
This particular habit of pocket pat check is a result of who I have come. I use to carry a lot of random trinkets in my pockets in fear of being unprepared. About 4 years ago, I began to cut back on what I carried. My mother could attest to the ridiculous amounts of trinkets and junk that would accumulate in my pockets. And I thought I could justify all of it, saying that I could find a use for it.
Currently I am down to: a wallet with as little as possible in it (still looking for a smaller one), a simple phone, a key ring with a house key, car key and car fob, and simple folding knife. I like to think that this is a reflection that I am becoming a more simple person, learning to understand that clutter does not make me happy. Or maybe I stripped down to these few things because it represented what I wanted to be: someone with little clutter, a more simple person, not in pursuit of things that do not matter.
Not to mention, bulky things in my pocket are not easily concealed against my legs…
~I pray all that are reading this are doing well. If you are feeling tired, rundown, or overwhelmed; please take sometime to be reminded that God calls you to depend on him to be sustained for all things. Be reminded that you are to be in a relationship with God and you cannot earn his grace. Take a moment to look at your life see if there is are things that cluttering your life, causing you stress, things that bring you relief from that stress. See what needs to go and make a move to eliminate; see what is lacking (prayer?) and seek to add it.