This past week I applied for a position on campus and I was required to submit a schedule detailing all my commitments: work, school, church, extra-curricular. First, I found that I do not have many extra-curricular activities. Second I spend nearly eight hours a week in the gym. Third, currently I am not very engaged in my Church.
I am alright with the fact that I do not have a whole bunch of commitments. it allows me to be more spontaneous with my friend and more flexible when I do homework and such. I do not have to decline events because of conflict of interests. And I am alright with that.
I decided to block off the time I train for a couple of reasons. First, my training is important to me, it is how I decompress and manage stress. Second, the weight room has very limited hours, therefore I must fight to protect my time there- I cannot afford to buy a gym membership even though it is something I would like to have. Lastly, there are people, I wish to maintain friendships with and that is the only venue in which for me to do so.
The last observation of my schedule was the most concerning to me..I only have two hours blocked out in my week for church. To put that in perspective, I spent that much time on Sunday afternoons prepping my proteins for the week. I spend that much time writing this darn thing. What does is say about my commitment to my church community when I am not investing my time into that community? I have said this before- it is not because I do not have the time, it is because I don’t see it as enough of a priority to make the time.
This is hard to say, because I truly care my church. But I have this lingering fear of becoming too attached the church that when i graduate and it is time to move, that I will not be able to make that decision. In the past I have been able to engage because I had it in the back of my mind that I would not get attached for I knew my time in that area was temporary. However, after my last church, I found that had changed.
No longer could engage in a community with the idea that it is temporary, because in reality it not- once I interact, people’s lives are impacted. I am not trying to sound conceded, but that is true for all people. When people step into my life, even if for a day, still have an impact in my life and I in theirs. Even though I was in Kingsburg for just a year, found that I was profoundly changed by my experiences and relationship made their, and found that held true for the people I spent time with there. I dove headlong into that community and in the end, despite, my expectations, it was very hard to move on.
Point is, it scares me what may happen I throw myself head long in to the church here. I don’t want to fall in love SoCal- but never say never (I had said that never want to live in the LA area, guess where I am now, go figure.) I am afraid to open myself to a church community knowing that I very well may leave this place soon. Not a good excuse. It is something that I am working through…
It was one of friend’s birthdays this past Monday, so we went to the Getty to celebrate her birthday. I had never been- It was amazing. The architecture was breathtaking. There is so much art in one place, it is a bit crazy- in our four hours their we only saw a small fraction of the exhibits. I worn my “Go Army, Beat Air Force Shirt” and found that the Getty employs many veterans and the shirt was a good conversation started,. I ended up talking to one gentleman for fifteen minutes about his service, football and bodybuilding and nutrition. Fun day, all in all.
This was the first full week of classes. I have a classes that only meets on Monday, and this week was the first time we met- It was strange to go through a syllabus the third week of the semester. In my Communication and Spirituality class we laid the foundations of the class- we talked about sanctification gap and the recognition of the need of spiritual formation. I am looking forward to most of my classes this semester.
If I get this position I applied for, my next few weekend and rest of the next 2 semester will be drastically altered- pray for peace and time management.