As a preface, I started writing this back in August of 2012. I still did not know what I was going to be doing after Mission Springs- It was the waiting game. For a lack of expression, I had a lot on my mind, yet at the same time, nothing on my mind… (August text is italicized, grammar corrected)
To be truthful, I have not been very very motivated to write.
To write anything.
I cannot decide that this is a good thing or a bad thing.
I feel that it is a bad thing because I enjoy expressing myself through writing and have been uninspired to do so. Writing has helped me work though and process a great many things over the past year or so. I have been able to work through a variety of things that had been on my mind.
At the same time, I feel that this a good thing, this lack of motivation to write. It is a good thing because maybe it means I have worked though most of my issues and questions. I feel that I have addressed many of the things that have weighed on my mind over the last nine months. Maybe my lack of to write is a sign that my mind is calming down, a sign that my mind is reconciling with who God is and how that looks in my life today.
For the last nine months, writing has been an outlet for my mind and soul. It has allowed my discombobulated mind to place my rampant thoughts into coherent threads and ideas. It has forced me to face the ideas that are banging around in my head and decide if they are really that important to me. It has allowed me to put fleeting ideas out of my mind before that are lost in the vastness of my mind so that I can come back them and ponder them a bit more. This blog is a partial compilation of some of these once rampant and fleeting thoughts.
On a similar note, I have been doing a lot of thinking about the fall and how that will play out. I can truly say, I at this point, it is totally unclear to me- It does not scare me, partly because I have responsibilities in the present that take president over the future. One of the things that I am striving to do is to be where I am fully. What I mean by that is that I concentrate on the task at hand, build the relationships I have here and now. This mean not be completely caught up in what the future holds that I neglect where God has placed me at this moment. God provides for my needs in his time. I must learn patience so that I may grow in faith as I wait on God.
Waiting on God does not mean I do nothing. Far be it from that. Waiting on God is not inactivity nor spinning of the proverbial wheels. It is abiding, listening to what God is saying, where He is leading me. It means engaging in prayer, learning the Scriptures, and seeking wise counsel.
I was going to add some after thoughts, but I will live at this
~I pray that as I wait on God that I seek Him earnestly in everything I do. Remind me to be conscious of where I am now and to put my full efforts into it. Amen