This is going to be the last shout into to dark (the internet) for this year. And as like most blogs this time of year, it is going be a very retrospective look at this past year and peek into the new one…
I will start by saying this year has been one that has pushed me in more ways than can be full described by me. I have loved, lose love, loss employment, gained employment, sinned, been redeemed, gained weight, loss weight, done stupid things, moved, and so much more….
I am coming to love where God has taken me this year- he has take me to places I could never have expected. And I thank God for it.
As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop in Scotts Valley waiting to meet with some friends to ring in the new year. If things had gone the way that myself wanted there would be a few other people in attendance tonight. I mentions over the last few months about the importances of Mission Springs in my life, not just as a job, but as a community of people. I am very blessed to have them. God has shown me so much about myself and how I approach relationships- I have so much to learn. I use tell myself I can leave off and pick up relationships, but I think God is proving me wrong, I hate it because is uncomfortable. I have to learn how to maintain relationship from afar and be ok to see people come and go. Not easy, not easy at all for me.
- I have experienced being love. I have experienced the fallout of being love. I have experienced how inept I can be in relationships, blinded and daft by my best intentions…
- I have a new job in ministry and peace about where I am.
- The more I learn, the more I realize the less I actually know. (I guess I need to stop learning…)
- I am coming to terms that I more than likely going back to school in the fall.
- I am learning that many people will not understand what I doing with my life and see it as spinning my wheels. I scares/saddens me because I might lose people and relationships that I care so deeply for.
- I am coming to the realization that people really do come and go in life- And for some people in my life, that is not acceptable, but it is inevitable that they do leave, when they do, it sucks hard.
- I am replaceable. (This is a good thing, stress less)
- -I am not special, just unique, anyone can do my job.
- I mumble… still.
- The goal of fitting all I need to live (minus furniture) in my truck- accomplished. (I still own too much crap)
- I am learning to live with people again and learning that I have annoying habits, such as clinking my spoon in the bowl.
- I am as strong if not stronger than I ever was in high school (strong, not cardio fit-working on it.)
- Sometimes, no matter you tell yourself you’re going to be ok, the pain still stays.
- When I wake up in the middle of the night, I need to pray. (Mom, thanks for this advice… I am eating well, working out and not drinking coffee and still waking in the dead of night, prayer is necessity)
- Even as an introvert, I need to designate time to be silent time- to clear my mind for God to speak.
- Public speaking take practice, lots of practice and preparation.
- -Likewise, giving a message is different than leading a small group- speak with authority and truth.
- Be where you are fully- Invest all your efforts where you are in that moment, ‘cause the future may change.
Long “short” list… oops. On last thing, kinda random. I am not one to make New Year resolution. Mostly in part that I a find them extremely stupid. Why do you need to wait for a new calendar year to make a change. Why not just do it as soon as you see the need for change. If you are constantly seeking to improve yourself, you ought to be making those changes as need be.
The other thing is that the gym tends to be flooded with these people who are trying to exercise more as a new years resolution. For the month of January, the gym becomes an unbearable place to be in.
~May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Shalom and Amen.
(PS: to all those who will be drinking, be safe and don’t do anything stupid.)